Seriously, though. During the majority of conversations with my father, it feels as if hes literally just waiting for an opportunity to slip in a terrible pun or a corny joke, even if its wildly out of context.
But, Ill admit, Im not complaining about it in the slightest. Im a sucker for a terrible pun , no matter how profoundly my eyes roll into the back of my head.
With Parents Day coming up, its only fittingto round up the best( and by best, I plainly mean worst) dad gags the men of this world have to offer.
So, without further ado, here are 23 amazing, yet simultaneously terrible, dad jokes everyone can appreciate.
1. Is this pool safe for diving? I dont know, it deep ends.
2. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
3. Dad, Im hungry. Hi Hungry, Im Dad.
4. Whats the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a tub of glue? You can tuna piano, but you cant piano a tuna. What about the tub of glue, you ask? I knew youd get stuck on that part.
5. Whats Harry Potters favorite style to get down a hill? Walking. JK. Rolling.
6. A ham sandwich strolls into a bar and orders a brew. Bartender says, Sorry, we dont serve food here.
7. How do you make a Kleenex dance? You set a little boogie in it.
8. Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
9. Whats Forrest Gumps password? 1forrest1.
10. What did the pirate say on his 80 th birthday? Aye, matey!
11. Why did the A use the bathroom and come out as an E? Because he had a vowel movement.
12. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pissing is silent.
13. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
14. What do you call person with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
15. Why cant you have a nose thats 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
16. Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.
17. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitchings? A nervous wreck.
18. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
19. What did the buffalo told me to his son when he went off to college? Bison.
20. Have you heard about the new movie? No? Thats because it never came out.
21. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your doorway? Matt.
22. You know why I love the rotation of the Earth? Because it truly constructs my day.
23. Would you like to hear a construction joke? Im still working on it.