What does one do when theyre told they need to cover up ahuge dick statue in the middle of their lawn?

Throw an equally huge condom over it, of course.

Thats what art dealer Juergen Hesz did after the people of his hometown of Traunkirchen, Austria, wereup in arms after gazing upon his expertly crafted penis sculpture in his front yard.

Standing at over 6 feet tall( about the same sizing as my penis ), the statue was situated in Heszs private garden, adjacent to a often visited hiking track.

The residents in the surrounding area clearly did not want tohave the phallus exposed to the world every day and askedHesz to cover-up it, so the public couldnt see it.

Hesz was a tad confused as to why the big, ol penis effigy was causing such a ruckus at that pointbecauseit had been stationed in his garden for several months at that point.

It like no one truly cared, but I guess they changed their minds.


Mayorof Traunkirchen, Christoph Schragl, decidedthat it would be best to position screens around the phallic figure, at least to disguise it from a directline of sight.

But then, Hesz met with Schragl after the screens were put up, eager to find a way to keep the penis in place.

The two came up with an arrangement: The penis statue could stay erect, but it had to be coveredwith a bright orange, condom-esque tarpaulin cloth. However, it wasonly for the Easter weekendto providean Easter peace, according to Hesz.


Franky, Schragl was gracious Hesz met with him at all, asthe schlong is on private landand technically could not be removed or veiled without Heszs approval.

Hesz did have some fun when donning the penis with the condom, get a Friedrich Neitzche quote printed on the material.

The German terms read, Gelobt sei was hart macht, which translates to, Praised be what hardens you.

Get it? Hardens? Penis? Hard penis? Oh, Hesz, you clever guy.

Afterthe Easter galas, Hesz claims he wants to auction offthe statue, letting the proceeds to go toward the community.

Apparently, that big, ol dick is worth between 85,000 and 100,000( loosely around $90,000 ).

I bet the people ofTraunkirchen are super thankful for that penis now!

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