‘Venom’ is an absolute disaster
“Venom”? More like cyanide.
The latest movie off the Marvel assembly line is a disaster on every level, from the hatchet-job writing to the horrid performances. Like so many recent superhero movies, ”Venom” has put its focus on juvenile humor instead of heart or action.
Tom Hardy plays Eddie Brock, the Guy Fieri of investigative journalists. Eddie is known for enthusiastically taking down powerful execs and politicians on cable TV, and he intends to do just that to Carlton Drake (Riz Ahmed), CEO of the Life Foundation.
He learns from an email on his lawyer girlfriend’s laptop that Drake’s company has been conducting deadly human experiments. So Eddie ambushes Drake and immediately gets fired from his TV network for unethical insubordination. His girlfriend Anne (Michelle Williams) rightly dumps him for spying on her inbox.
But Eddie quickly finds a new pal in Venom, an alien symbiote who latches onto him in Drake’s lab, where it’s being studied. Venom gives the shlub super-strength — and super-cannibalism. Yes, when the violent alien takes full control of Eddie’s body, he chows down on people’s heads.
Eddie and Flubber’s cousin go on a destructive rampage through San Francisco — with Venom lending an awkward commentary track — in an attempt to stop Drake’s evil scheme. And the movie ends. The abrupt climax is as lousy as the acting.
Hardy performs with a garbage disposal voice, mumbling rapidly in a scratchy whisper. He jumps around wildly like he’s just escaped a straitjacket. Director Ruben Fleischer may well have said, “Tom. Be crazy. Action!”
Fleischer also might have told Williams to be blander than tap water, because the Oscar nominee is doing little more than cashing a check here. Whether being romantic or in mortal peril, Williams’ face is identically blank. She and Hardy have the weirdest kissing scene I’ve ever seen.
Poor Ahmed, the best part of “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” is turned into a cartoon villain and handed lame dialogue like, “Bring me my creature!”
Nobody expects “Citizen Kane” when they walk into a superhero movie. But they also don’t expect an alien slug to call the main character a “pu–y” or to dish out relationship advice in a smooth Luther Vandross voice. The genuinely funny “Deadpool” movies have unleashed a slew of copycats trying to wring laughs out of hero stories. “Venom” gets laughs — the wrong kind.
If “Venom” seems like a rare miss for Marvel, that’s because it was made only “in association” with Marvel. It’s actually a Sony product that’s totally separate from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That detached language, “in association with,” is used twice in the opening credits alone. My audience of film geeks was rolling with laughter, before any character had even spoken, at Marvel’s obvious attempt to distance itself from this wreck.
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‘Titans’ First Reactions Released Online
DC Comics has some big plans for their first live-action series on DC Universe , but ultimately the fans are going to determine the success of Titans .
Now that New York Comic Con has begun, some lucky attendees were treated to the series premiere of the superhero series focusing on Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy. So, what are they saying about the show?
You can expect to read our review of Titans tomorrow, but fans have started posting their thoughts on the first two episodes of the series online.
It seems Warner Bros. is confident the series will be a hit, as it’s already received a second season order on DC Universe. Executive producer Akiva Goldsman spoke with ComicBook.com at New York Comic Con where he revealed they have big plans for the future.
“In early days we kind of grossly discussed the first three season just in very large blocks and obviously with serialized television what’s great these days is you can do set ups and pay offs at least within the season and there are also some that we hope will be able to pay off next season,” Goldsman said.
Series producer Geoff Johns has spoken at length about the freedom Titans has, afforded by its home on DC Universe.
“It was an opportunity do less of a conventional procedural show and more of a 12-hour movie,” Johns said. “We could focus in more on character and push the envelope, in terms of content.”
The series will premiere on DC Universe on October 12th, but is it something to get excited about? Here’s what people who saw the episodes are saying about Titans : Slide 1 of 10 ‘Titans’ grabs your attention Yooo what a way to start #NYCC . #Titans is seriously next level. We got to see the first two episodes and damn, DCs got this đđťââď¸ You had my curiosity, NOW YOU GOT MY ATTENTION pic.twitter.com/LCemaL2opX â Lola Dreambomb (@Lola_Dreambomb) October 4, 2018 Slide 2 of 10 The crowd ate it up! First two episodes of #Titans just got a very warm reception at #NYCC . I will have in depth (but spoiler free!) thoughts on @DenofGeekUS tomorrow! â Mike Cecchini (@wayoutstuff) October 4, 2018 Slide 3 of 10 Get ready for those Starfire and Robin ships DCâs #Titans is an awesome surprise. The first two episodes really set up something exciting and unique. The chemistry works amongst all the actors. Starfire and Robin are standouts #NYCC â AntđŻ (@AnAntLife) October 4, 2018 Slide 4 of 10 Classic fans won’t be disappointed #Titans totally worth watching. @DCUTitans has done a fantastic job at breaking the mold and giving us something new but sticking to some classic content! â BigZ (@BigZunnin) October 4, 2018 Slide 5 of 10 Better than a Marvel show? Ya after this Doom Patrol talk I should probably say something about #Titans itself huh?
I like it! Itâs bloody and dark, but the tone is more cohesive than some Marvel shows. Thereâs humor & horror, and âfuck Batmanâ carries emotional weight in context https://t.co/34cjeKfBvx â Christian Holub (@cmholub) October 4, 2018 Slide 6 of 10 Stuck in the ’80s Yo so what I will say rn is #Titans ainât like anything else. Starfire is stuck in the 80s, but I low key sort of fuck with the 80sđ¤ˇââď¸ â autumn noel kelly @NYCC (@autumnnoelkelly) October 4, 2018 Slide 7 of 10 Do the booty scooty… The below GIF is an accurate representation of me after seeing the #WorldPremiere of @DCUTitans . You will NOT be disappointed #Titans pic.twitter.com/GYfAQOus8T â Ben Zander (@ZanderMander95) October 4, 2018 Slide 8 of 10 [Expletive Deleted] Starfire being the best/break out character in #Titans after all the hell motherfckers have put Anna through over the past year is just… glorious. eat a dick, uglies! pic.twitter.com/vXBPimI3x0 â brianna. (@notevenloaded) October 3, 2018 Slide 9 of 10 We need MORE! Had the opportunity to see the first 2 episodes of @DCUTitans tonight at #NYCC18 and loved it. Grayson and Raven are phenomenal. Canât wait to see the rest. #titanspremiere #titans pic.twitter.com/wp9jpN0iiF â Jason Gunning (@jasonmgunning) October 4, 2018 Slide 10 of 10 Some people just want the freebies… View this post on Instagram A post shared by Lauren Caven đđŚâ (@cinderelsapunzelestia) on Oct 3, 2018 at 7:27pm PDT